My 50th - an invitation to dream

INSPIRATION

My 50th – an invitation to dream

‘She decided to start living the life she imagined…’

‘Kobi Yamada’

Last night I lay in bed thinking, about my big birthday next year and what I want to do on the day. In my mind I have been planning a huge bash in Paris somewhere overlooking the Eiffel Tower. I have already started hinting to my friends and family that this would be tres magnifique and they should start saving for a European holiday.

Then my inner version of reality kicks in.

My little voice that tells me ‘don’t’ be ridiculous’ and nobody is going to come all the way to Paris for a birthday….no edit that, I mean for MY Birthday. It is a dream that is totally out of reach and I am not worthy of such a big dream. It will cost too much, we don’t have the money, we’ll have to travel, I’m not important….my dream will be a fizzer and everybody will know.

Don’t tell anyone, if nobody knows then my grand dream can’t fail, I can’t fail.

And I let myself think this way.

I crush my own dreams, like the dream of writing a book, of having a voice, of making a difference. I’ve been taking about this dream for almost ten years. Taking one step forward and then no further, then another step and stopping, no further…gathering information, keeping notes, subscribing to writing blogs and comparing my journal to the polished finished books written by my peers.

I’ve been Peer Gazing and crushing my own voice in the process.

So last night unable to sleep, gazing at the ancient beams overhead my thoughts shifted to my Brother, I was thinking that he only made it a few months past his fiftieth birthday.

That right now if I were him I would only have one year to live.

This exact time next year I would be in the garden finishing the weeding, packing away the lawnmower heading in for dinner, maybe whistling (I like to think of him whistling as he took those last steps).

I don’t know what dreams died unfulfilled with my brother that night, but I bet if he knew that he only had that one last year to live he would have whistled more often.

Dreams don’t need to be grand to live in our hearts, they just need to inspire us to be more than we are. My dream for our Italian life won’t happen by itself, being in Paris for my birthday won’t happen unless I decide it will, my first book will never be read unless I give up that little voice inside my head.

Last night I decided to dedicate this year to my brother, to make it the best year ever, to make my life sing…..or maybe whistle.

As this is going to be the year that sings out loud, dances in the street, and culminates in Paris I’d love you to come along. Sing your own song, create a dream so big you can’t help but dance with the excitement of it, and then share it…..start here, with me, let’s do it together.

Go ahead….dare to dream x

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and the gang x

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46 replies

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Trisha Thomas says:
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Oh Lisa, how beautiful, how touching, how heart-warming. I hope you brother knew what an amazing, loving and devoted sister he had. Your words about him are so moving. And, as always, you have helped me think about my own life differently. I am coming up on 50 at the end of December, I just celebrated my 20th wedding anniversary, and in August my first child left home to go off to University — and instead of being joyful and celebrating achievements, since August, I have been frequently running over the past in my mind wondering why I have not achieved more (why haven’t I published a book, when so many other people do so easily, why haven’t I been a better wife and mother, why don’t I have a beautiful house and gorgeous flowers on my balcony). I have joked with friends that I want to go hide behind the couch on my 50th birthday. But in the past few weeks I have been feeling a bit better, thinking perhaps actually I have done an awful lot in my 50 years and have so much to be proud of and grateful for. And yes, life is not over at age 49, I can still dream of so many wonderful things that I still want to do. Thank you for your inspiration.
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Olivia says:
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But when’s the date?? I need to know if we can save for it! xxx
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- Lisa Chiodo says:
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  Looks like it’s going to be the 21st!!!
  can’t wait and it would be fantastic to see you xxx
Rose says:
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You ARE my inspiration. If not for you, I would only consider this a dream. Your bravery, kind heartedness and dogmatic determination make you an inspiration. You bring life and joy to an extraordinarily dull life. Existence is still my enemy, but through you, my dreams see light. I will do my utmost to be in Paris. Just set a date so the dream can find where it needs to go. Love you always and beyond. Rose xxxxx
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Sarah Shearer says:
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My dream is to earn enough through my writing to be able to open and run an animal rescue shelter, training animals and disadvantaged adults to visit hospices and spread happiness. A big dream for a little writer, but hopefully dreams can come true. xx
Good luck with your dream Lisa, see you in Paris next year 🙂
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- Lisa Chiodo says:
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  Sarah you are one of the most determined women I know, if you set your mind to this you’d do it for sure xx
Duane Mortensen says:
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Dear LIsa, A little over a year ago I lost my sister. She had said she doubted she would make 60. Sh emitted by a few months. A few months ago I too nearly died. My blood pressure had spiked well over 200/110 and my blood sugar was over 480. Both should have killed me one way or another. Some how I didn’t have a stroke and die. I intend to make it to 100 now. At 56 that’s a big dream but at least I se life better now. You’ve found your dream and I see it doing wonderful things for you and your family You have such a wonderful life. I know it’s not always a bowl of cherries but you’ve chased your dream and are living it. I hold you high esteem for that. Brava and continue the dream.
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- Duane Mortensen says:
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  Opps dang corrections… She missed by… and I goofed on- I see life….
Sonia says:
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I loved this post I felt compelled to leave a comment. I applaud you for having the courage to live your dream RIGHT NOW.. moving your whole life and family to Italy. I live vicariously through you (from back here on the Gold Coast!).. hoping that ‘one day’ I too will have the courage to follow my heart and MY dream, to LIVE in Italy… Thank you for sharing your journey with us.. xox
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Sylvia says:
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I think you are already a pretty inspiring dreamer! If you can think it it can happen, so get thinking & keep dreaming x
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- Lisa Chiodo says:
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  Certainly this dream will keep me inspired Sylvia, now to encourage others to create a dream xx
  ciao lisa x
Krista says:
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Feeling so emotional yet so happy and inspired after reading your words, dear Lisa. XOXO Thank you for your honesty and openness, your vulnerability and especially your courage in speaking truth. XO Wishing you comfort as you remember your brother and even greater courage and truth-speaking throughout this year. 🙂
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CLAIRE LLOYD says:
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Absolutely the best plan for the year ever! Live the best year of your life and enjoy every second of it. You will never know who’ll be there to share your celebration until you are in Paris so go for it. I say that from experience I wanted my 50th birthday to be held on a Greek Island and guess what, it was! 40 people came from as far as Australia and as near as London. It was the most amazing time and never to be forgotten. Enjoy your year and all the years after x
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Anne says:
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Hi Lisa , forgot to add , you are in Italy and that was where you wanted to be ,, well done , and you have a partner who helps you with your dreams. 🙂
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- Lisa Chiodo says:
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  yes without him I’d be lost I have to admit but don’t tell him that x