1. 

   Dennis says:

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   Way way back, end of the 1960s, when I was several years in Rome in the Australian embassy my young marriage did break up. In those days this was more rare than now, in Australia. Two things of relevance.

   First, when you are far away, very dependent on each other, working together all the time, lacking wider network, it is more difficult than idyllic imagination imagines.

   Second, to go from Australia to Italy is to shift from a world where people tend to live ‘outwards’ to a world where people live more ‘inwards’ or so it seemed back then in Rome and may possibly be in your relatively traditional remote circumstance.

   Back then for us was the unevenness of my having the connection of the office which my wife did not. Now, inescapably, you have the difference of one with deeper Italian roots than the other.

   I have just discovered your blog and site, it reflects so much about your shared sense of wonder. Life has moved on of course from those days of mine in Rome. Italy’s imprint indelible.

   Both my partner and I have experience owner building and farm building in the bush in Australia, we know how much exhausting work is involved in even modest measures of self-sufficiency. Many years ago the Owner Builder magazine in Australia did a survey of marriage problems among owner builders. Most risky phase was when the job was pretty much done and partners looked across the table at each other and said “oh no, not without a project!” There are huge phase shifts to figure out. I speak as an unintentional serial monogamist. Disaster and death in the mix.

   My partner since 2009 and I were a month in Italy in 2010, two months 2011, five scrounged weeks next March April. We were planning to wande Le Marche but the terremoto has cast a shadow over that, so in looking around for other less visited places found your site and your ferociously honest blog.

   It’s not easy for you being everyone else’s dream…you must somehow wall that off and live for yourselves. An energy budget essential : a Chinese doctor once said to me “you must save half your chi for yourself “.

   Every good wish for Christmas and the new year. And for happy personal outcomes for the family.

   🙂

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     Lisa Chiodo says:

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     Dennis thank you so much, you made me tear up!!
     I love the energy budget thought, much needed. My husband and I have been working together for years now, renovating around a dozen houses in Australia together. Now the dream here is on hold while we find ways to create an income. Think I need to get my husband to push the reset button as well and get back to his original dream for life here.

     Maybe we’ll see you next year!
     Have a wonderful Christmas and thanks again, much love lisa and the gang x

2. 

   Arlene Miller says:

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   Menopause is a life onto its own. Doug Kaufman has a television/internet program called, Know the Cause. His experience and expertise will put you on course, with natural remedies! Blessings xx

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     Lisa Chiodo says:

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     Oh so true Arlene, it really hit me hard, I saw something on line detailing the 30 symptoms of menopause and I had 28 lol. I’ll look at Know the Cause, all ideas welcome xxx

     thanks so much for the kind thoughts
     love lisa x

3. 

   Elmer Anderson says:

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   Spending time with your husband is the answer to avoid misunderstanding like this.

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     Lisa Chiodo says:

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     Thanks so much, you are right and I’ll just grab him and take him away lol xx

4. 

   Sophia says:

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   Well, I am happy to read that you are a normal family, with normal problems like pushing shit up hill, stress with household, children and bills, and with all the normal things that we say and react to when emotionally drained (in front of our children). But hey, they have to learn how to put a fight in a normal marriage, don’t they!
   So, I can only presume that when you get back, the kisses will be sweeter and the hugs will be longer 🙂
   Love is all around! Kisses and hugs, Lisa, to all of you!

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5. 

   Vanessa says:

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   I listen to this podcast on iTunes and maybe you might like it? It’s an American therapist who deals with negotiations in relationships. Her name is Dr Pat Allen. She’s also written a few books that are really good and explain things easily. She’s 83 I think and has been doing this work for over 40 years.
   i don’t know if you’d like it, but while your in Australia and have some time, you could plug in your headphones and tune out for a bit. Big hug to you.

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6. 

   Dee says:

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   I think its very brave of you to voice what youre going through. Im not one to give advice because its never received well even when asked for, but Inwill say I have lived through what you are going through. Living in exile in Italy puts huge strains on the people involved and the marriage. Once the house is renovated and you look around at the quality of yoyr life miles away from your family it can be a WTF moment. Its not easy for the over 40 s to simply start over with a new life, its tough anwhere and Gid knows doing it with children in a country that is know for its red tape and frustrating business environment can be hell at times. There are lots of upsides to liv
   ing in Italy I know I live here, but it takes its toll. My marriage was eroded day by day by the culture gap and the mountain of crap you have to deal with day by day. Its incredibly tiring. All my friends in the 13 years Ive been here have either divorced ( if they married an Italian as I did) or gone back as a couple to whence they came from. Its not easy. Its not just you. Marriage is tough anywhere, but doing it in a culture that will never accept you and your culture and struggling financially here in Italy breaks the back of any couple eventually. Its not you, and its not menopause. Its just the adventure has become a pain in the ass. As you get older youll want the kids to be around grandparents and cousins , indeed you yourself and your spouse will need a soft place to fall. Those friends who unfriended you are not worth sixpence. When you come back reevaluate with your spouse where you want to retire and get old and you need to be honest with each other on that. The stress of living in exile takes its toll.

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7. 

   Carrie Myers says:

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   Aloha dear. Love is a choice.
   Choose to love each other. You won’t always like each other but we all have to make a conscious effort to love each other. It is an action word. It’s not feelings. Oh yes, feelings can come from it but it is a verb. Don’t hesitate to say I love you. And definitely don’t hesitate to say I’m sorry. Say I’m sorry to your children. You two are hurting and so are your children. God can heal all of this. You can do this. God can heal all of this. I’m praying for all of you.

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     liz says:

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     Carrie said it beautifully. ‘Love is a choice.’
     And i so undèrstand the crazy feeling you will go through in menopause, but don’t medicate. If anything the way to a healthier mind and body is pràyer. All things are possible through God! Run to Him. He is the great physician and healer of our mind, body and soul.

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     Lisa Chiodo says:

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     Thank you so much for your kindness Liz, although I am not religious I appreciate your love for God, perhaps being here in nature is as close. xx

8. 

   Anne says:

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   Hang in there. Awareness is everything, isn’t it? I don’t know how to write this without sounding strange – please don’t think I’m enjoying the tough patch you’re going through – but it was refreshing to hear that you and Sam are “normal” people and that things aren’t always rosy in the land of my ancestors. Holding you all in love and light!

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9. 

   peggy hayden adelaide SA says:

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   Hi Lisa I have been following your fb posts for some time, I save some of your great photos thinking one day I will paint them [I am an artist] you will get over your fuzzed brain menopausal nightmares we all have challenges as we head through our history,not one person gets away with the perfect journey, you will face it all because you are a strong woman, we all have to work at our marriage,lets face it men are from a different planet to us [they say we are] GO HOME and keep on posting photos of that beautiful place you live in, oh and say hi to Sam and the kids from me x

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10. 

    Matt says:

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    Hi Guys, hang in there and be nice to yourselves. We finished our adventure went back to Adelaide then NZ for a look at a different lifestyle. Would you believe we’ve ended up in Brisbane and enjoying it. We have been here 4 months, nice area, great school and incredible weather. I certainly miss Italy in fact the whole feel of Europe. We are now planning a trip next year to Italy and maybe Canada. We made such nice friends and Australia feels different to us…. who knows but we need to earn some ‘soldi’ and reload. Take care of yourselves whichever way the wind blows just don’t throw any pots or pans. Ciao Matt, Danielle, Zach and Xavier… baci baci

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